What’s eating you? Do you feed your feelings?

We eat for many reasons – and most of them are nothing to do with hunger. Do you eat when you are lonely, bored, tired or upset? Or do you eat because it’s time to eat, whether you are hungry or not? Some people use food and drink to medicate themselves – coffee to get them going, chocolate to perk them up, or chips to cheer them up. Food can seem like a mild anti-depressant – a cheerer-upper, used to console ourselves and each other when we feel lonely or sad, or after a relationship break-up or a bad day at work. Sometimes we FEEL empty, yet are stomachs are full.
Some questions:
1: Do you eat food just because it is there? Even when you aren’t really hungry?

2: Do you find it hard to say no when someone offers you something to eat or drink?

3: Do you drink alcohol or eat certain types of foods (eg chocolate) to cope with stress?

4: Do you feel like you NEED a coffee to start your day?

5: Do you use food to reward yourself?

6. Do you use food, snacks or sweets to comfort yourself, or help you feel better?

7. Do you find it hard to leave food on your plate or to throw it away?

If you answer yes to any of these questions, it maybe that sometimes you are using food/drink as a coping mechanism and a strategy for managing the way that you feel. You may be eating and drinking to medicate yourself. Or sometimes you may find it hard to say ‘no’ to other people, or because you have fallen into bad habits like eating when you aren’t hungry or just because it is in front of you. Most people do some of these things sometimes, but some people do most of these things every day. For them, it is the unseen food trap that they have accidentally fallen into – and can’t get out of because they don’t realise they are doing it, and don’t know how to deal with difficult emotions without feeding their feelings.

If you find yourself reaching for chocolate or wine at the end of the day just to unwind, or you open a packet of biscuits after a rough morning, reach for a packet of crisps when you feel bored, or stare into the fridge looking for something to appease your anger or irritation after a row – then, take action.  When you use food to cope with the way that you feel, you are using food for something that food shouldn’t be used for.

You can overcome emotional eating by tracking what you eat and when – and most importantly WHY – and then challenging your thinking and bad habits. The basic rules of good eating remain the same: eat when you’re (really) hungry, stop eating as soon as you start to feel full, stop snacking, eat less junk, eat more good food – and move more.

Here’s a list of the most common emotional triggers I come across. See if you can spot your triggers (they will be different in different places and situations) and then devise better, non-food alternatives to deal with each emotion at the root of non-hungry eating:

Comfort eating
Do you find yourself eating to cheer yourself up, or to calm yourself down? Notice how you feel when something goes wrong – and what you do. What else would help you feel better? Going for a walk, phoning a friend, posting on Facebook, having a long soak – these are all feel-better strategies you could try. Or maybe you could sit with those feelings – after all, they don’t hurt you – and instead work out what they are trying to tell you.

Angry eating
You’re eating in anger if you find yourself turning to food when you feel hurt or while you’re still upset. If you continually push angry feelings back down with food, you will just end up feeling depressed. Then you’ll be angry and depressed.

Lonely eating
Whether you’re alone or not, you can still feel lonely. Do you use food to plug the gap left by a lack of warm loving contact?

Emptiness eating
Some people never seem to feel full. They want carry on eating way beyond when others stop. These people have usually over-ridden their natural appestat so many times they no longer know what it’s like to feel really hungry. They are a just feeding a feeling of emotional emptiness.

Punishing eating
Food can be used as a punishment or even as a tool of self-harm. If you’re upset with yourself, you may eat too much food as a way to punish yourself. If you find yourself eating too much food that you don’t even really like or want, you may be particularly prone to this trigger.

Routine eating
The clock says it’s time to eat, so you eat whether you’re hungry or not. Your natural appestat is over-ridden by ingrained routine.

Bad habit eating
Do you snack every day? Have you invented another time or occasion to eat outside mealtimes? Elevenses? Tea and cake? Supper? Even enjoying rituals like having nibbles with a drink, or a bag of crisps before you eat dinner every day, are common examples of eating out of habit.

Miserly eating
Do you treat yourself like a rubbish bin? Children are so often lectured about leaving food on their plate, because it’s a waste of money and resources, that we can take this lesson into adult life. You do not save money by eating food you don’t need. In fact it costs you more money, because you then have to do something about the excess weight you’re carrying, which usually costs more than just the cost to your health.

Bored eating
You’ve no plans and there’s nothing you particularly want to do… so you reach for something tasty to distract you and fill a boredom gap. Sounds like you? Spot the habit and get up and do something else that interests you

Treat eating
Hurray you’ve done well, you deserve a treat, don’t you? You could give yourself a reward, such as a bunch of flowers, light a nice candle, buy a book, read a magazine, go to the cinema… or you could have a tasty little treat. High fat, high sugar, high starch. No thanks – it’s junk, and your body won’t thank you for it.

The legacy
It’s not good – the long-term result of emotional eating is that it makes you feel worse about yourself, not better. Most people who feed their feelings end up eating more than they need to, and this can lead to a life-long struggle with their weight and endless diets that don’t work because they do not address the root of the problem.  When you use food to medicate yourself and to help manage your mood or deal with uncomfortable feelings, you will always end up eating too much and too much of the wrong type of foods. In the end, feeding your feelings will only lead to worse feelings. Feelings like guilt, disappointment and self-loathing. And so your feelings go round and round and down in a vicious circle – unless you stop and listen to them.
Action Plan
Track your triggers by keeping a note of every time anything passes your lips which is:

• more than you want to eat
• or something you don’t want to eat
• or at a time when you shouldn’t be eating
  Ask yourself:
• Were you really hungry?
• What were you thinking? What exact thoughts were going through your head as you decided to eat?
• How were you feeling? Sad? Bored? Frustrated? Angry? Rebellious? Sod it!? Etc…
• How will it change your feelings? Will you feel rewarded, treated, comforted, punished…?
• What can you do instead of eating/drinking? What else will help?
  Prepare some ideas in advance, decide which one’s best for this feeling and this situation… and do it